Here are a few tips to help with the challenge of intergenerational leadership. I’m quickly putting up this list because I am speaking at a frank event and I want to provide a quick resource. I will follow up with more thoughts and ideas on this extremely important topic.
Old Guard
- Embrace your responsibility as an elder. Be happy that you have lived as long as you have and remember you have valuable knowledge to share that comes from aging.
- Listen. Listen. Listen some more and really listen. Don’t be so eager to share that you do not listen.
- Don’t act like their mentor if you are not their mentor, but be there for them even when they do not care if you are there. Show unconditional support. It means you care. Share knowledge as you can.
- Follow their lead even if it means mistakes will be made. Mistakes are part of the process of learning.
- Take the lead when your leadership is needed. There are times as a seasoned leader only you can lead. And then step back.
- Know where your space is, know where their space is and let them have their space.
- Remember you were once them. Do not let ego or fear of an uncertain future stand in the way of being an effective leader in conceding space and passing the torch.
Emerging Leaders and Agitators
- Be respectful but be firm. You are not responsible for people being offended by new ideas, your firmness
and challenges to their leadership. But you are responsible for your actions – being dismissive, acting as if you know everything, not taking some time to learn and throwing people away because you think they are too old and ideas are dull and stale. - Impatience and urgency are good. It brings energy to movements. Any great social change is mostly led by the young and definitely the young provide the energy. But change takes time. It is slow until it is not. No one knows when the blinding speed of great change will come. So always push for it.
- Although it is hard to imagine, remember that you will one day be the middle and old guard. Take lessons with you from other people to learn how to be a good leader. There will be good examples and bad examples, use both.
- Have empathy for the old guard. Remember, unless you die, it will one day be you
To Both
Know yourself. Key to successfully navigating any challenging situation and creating positive change is to know yourself. What motivates you. What are your vulnerabilities, self confidence level, what pushes your buttons? How much are you motivated by ego as opposed to doing what is best to move forward positive change in a positive way. I say positive because people make space in negative ways all the time.
Always ask what you could have done to change the situation or move something negative in a positive direction. How did I contribute to the bad outcome? Take responsibility no matter how small? You can’t control others, but you can control yourself. The more you are in control of yourself, the more you are in command of a situation including the making and conceding of space for yourself and others. I also find this to very handy for me when I have interactions with police because I can gauge myself and control where I am taking the situation and not react to the police.
Working to know and understand yourself is central to making space for yourself in a positive way, feeling secure enough to make space for others and passing the torch to move on to new, unfamiliar and scary things.
I cannot stress the importance of not allowing your identity to get too wrapped up in what you do. You must remember that you are not who you are because of what you do. You do what you do because of who you are. I joined VFP because of my values. I became a leader in the organization because of my abilities and vision. When I am no longer ED I am still Michael McPhearson. Yes, the job brought me status. People will not clap for me, Michael McPhearson like they clapped for me as Executive Director of Veterans For Peace. But if I need the status and applause I received from the job to value myself, I need to work more on myself to be a better me. More reason to step back and take time to grow as a person. It’s hard to let go of space you believe makes you the person you are.
For young people as you grow into your careers, take care to keep your individual identity and value what you bring to the table. For older leaders, disentangle your identity and what your bring to the table from your position. We take who we are with us wherever we go. Understanding this from the beginning and never forgetting we have a responsibility to make space for new leaders will make it easier to make that space for others and eventually pass the torch.